Emily.

I miss her. I miss her so much. I miss that goofy laugh of hers. That way she used to smile, run towards me, give me the greatest hug and nearly knock me off my feet. When she used to hold her small warm hand in mine and swing it back and forth. When whenever we sat down together she'd sit slightly closer to me then any other person and sometimes even rest her hand on my thigh or her head on my shoulder. When I found cute little notes scrawled all through my school books by her. When she would show me a picture that she'd drawn for me and was so proud of it. When we would sit under a tree and she'd lay down and rest her beautiful face in my lap, looking up at me with big eyes. When we would listen to two different songs at once and laugh about how they sounded together. Those long, slow walks we took around campus every morning. When we took silly photographs together. She told me everything. Then one day, she told me her father got a position a thousand miles away and had to move. I cried that night, and the night after that and the night after that again. In those three nights, I realized that my feelings were more then that of a friend to her. It scared me. The first person that I knew I for sure loved, was girl, my best friend. I couldn't bring myself to tell her how I felt, what if she were to be so grossed out that she hated me and never talked to me again. I kept my mouth shut. We kept in contact for a while. I comforted her every night over the phone for the first two weeks that she was there, she would fall asleep sometimes, those nights I'd whispered my love to her over the phone while she slept peacefully. After the last night that I had spoke those poisonous words to her. I noticed her being unusually quiet on skype that day. I asked her what was up, my stomach was churning and I was dreading what I knew I was about to here. "Last night, I heard what you said just before you hung up." when I heard that, it made me want to vomit and made all the color wash from my face. I remember replying with something like "I thought you were still awake, silly me." we had said I love you to each other before, but what friends haven't? She made nothing of it after that, although I think she saw through my lie. A few days later, we were on skype again. She said she wanted to tell me something, that same feeling of nausea was back.